Currently Listening Fallen By Evanescence My Immortal see related

Dear Tear,

They are gone...  I want them to come back.  I wish I could do something to help them...  I talked to Ember about it last night...  I want to just...  well, cry.  If they go to a big city, they can't do anything if they get into any trouble...  They can't go to the police because they are runaways, and they can't call home because they don't want to come back.  I hope they are all right...  God, I miss them both.

...

-Derrick

Currently Listening Noise from the Basement By Skye Sweetnam Billy see related

Dear Tear,

Well, we made it to State...  We leave at 3:30!  I can't wait to go to Casper.  It is an extremely long ride though, which is the only bad thing.  I really do want us to do well.  Dad gave me $80 to go, which is a plus, since he said he would give me only $40.  Kayla doesn't want me to go.  She doesn't like staying at the house alone...  She gets paranoid.

Well, Dad's birthday was yesterday.  He is now 43, I think.

I feel somewhat better about life.  I don't understand why I feel like an unwanted person alot of the time.  For all I know, I am liked, loved and wanted... 

Well, now that I updated (don't you feel special?), I must go and get my x-acto knife from the locker room.

-Derrick

Currently Listening Missundaztood By Pink Do You Even Know Who You Are see related

Dear Tear,

Well, I have thought about life for a couple of days....  I realized it is stupid.  I am going to make a list just as Kathryn said too.

...

56 Things wrong with my life:

1. I am emotionally unstable.
2. One of my best friends thinks I need medication.
3. I feel suicidal, for some weird reason.
4. I have depression.
5. Dad says he won't take me to get medication due to the fact he doesn't want my emotions false and medicated.
6. I agree.
7. Sam still thinks I need medication.
8. Sam says I am crazy.
9. Sam is replacing me with the new kid, Josh.
10. She denies it.
11. I don't care, she is replacing me.
12. I can't drive.
13. I am confused about life in general.
14. Everyone hates me.
15. I am having problems with randomly crying.
16. Not that many people like me.
17. The person who I like hates me.
18. I hate who I am.
19. I don't know who I am.
20. My family doesn't realize how depressed I am.
21. I am having suicidal thoughts...  Is that bad?
22. I am having trouble finding friends who can accept me.
23. I still wish that Katie liked me as a friend.
24. I still wish that Kathryn and I still talked.
25. I want to become good friends with Lindsey and Breanna.
26. I push everyone away.
27. I am crazy.
28. I have no past.
29. I have no future.
30. My mother doesn't realize that I exist.
31. I feel unwanted.
32. Kayla's dog, Corona, ate my pointer finger.
33. Thor has a shock collar and randomly yelps from the high voltage shock
34. I am fat.
35. I am ugly.
36. I need to go to an ugly home.
37. I need money.
38. I need a job.
39. I can't get a job at Hill until I am 16.
40. I am 15 and turn 16 when the job starts.
41. I have no style.
42. I dress trashy.
43. I don't fit in.
44. I can't and will ever find a life-long friend.
45. I have many gray spots in my hair.
46. I am stressed.
47. No one understands the way I think.
48. Everyone thinks I am crazy.
49. I don't like my papercut artwork.
50. No one cares what happens to me.
51. I don't fit in with anyone.
52. I am an embarrassment.
53. My grades are slipping.
54. No one listens to things only I know.
55. My invisibility spell hasn't taken any effect.
56. No one understands me.

-Derrick

Currently Listening American Idiot By Green Day Boulevard of Broken Dreams. see related

Dear Tear,

I hate Singles' Awareness Day (Valentines' Day).  Dad came home last night from work.  I haven't seen him.  He went to the bar as he does every St. Valentines.  He comes home drunker than drunk at 12:00.  He is randomly screaming (LOUD) whilst my sister is trying to sleep on the couch.  He is severely depressed on Valentines'... 

Singles' Awareness Day needs to be wiped off of the calendar.  It is one of those holidays that everyone decides to commit suicide and for stupid wet prats to gloat about what their stupid wet prat boyfriends or girlfriends got them...  It sucks.  Life sucks.  I feel so depressed.

-Derrick

I have no past nor any future...  So why am I in the present?

Dear Tear,

I absolutely hate Valentines' Day.  It is a holiday divoted to love, which obviously doesn't exist to some people who shall remain nameless (me).  Valentines' Day is just an excuse for sex-driven prats to snog their significant others to try and forget their cell phone driven lives.  Next to me is sitting one of those certain people who don't understand how terrible this day is...  Sam.  She was watching Usher as a baby singing 'Doctor of Love.'  Creepy! 

Sam by the way has angered something from the other side and is not happy!  It is possessing things like her Spanish notebook and the locker door!  I wonder what she did and what we can do to get it to leave.  Maybe have a Spirit Party after hours in front of the locker...  Sam's idea. 

Well, Happy Valentines' Day...

-Derrick